Dieting.........

I believe the hilarious Kelly Kapoor can best summarize how I feel right now....








ahhhhhhhhhh. I tried everywhere to find the clip where she passes out and the one where they are in the conference room and Michael makes her stand on the chair and she says "I hate dieting.......and I hate this worm that is inside of me." But they seem to be missing on youtube and other various clip related sites and cannot find it to save my life.

I have finally incorporated some gym time back into my life. Which has been soooooo good. It really hasn't helped the weight loss as much as I was hoping but it does make me feel good. So I guess I will continue on with it. Dieting isn't as bad as Kelly Kapoor has been making it out to be. Luckily with school, studying, the US Open, and the gym occupying most of my time it has made it easier to not be tempted to eat as badly because I have the goal that I have to burn off at the gym on the treadmill all the calories I ate for breakfast/lunch. We'll see how long I can keep that up.

MILF Island

So my definition of a MILF for all intents and purposes is going to stand for a Mother I Wanna (get bow chicka bow wow) Fro-Yo with. Listen pervs Fro-Yo as in frozen yogurt. Where are you from a stupid rock? Fro-Yo is the biggest craze to hit since sushi. Anyways here it is my long awaited and much anticipated MILF top ten list. Let me clarify, these hotties are all moms over 40, not your Jessica Albas or Jennifer Garners. We all know I love to flirt me up some middle aged mommas. No harm no foul, just good old fashioned fun times.

Honorable Mentions: Not chosen because they are way too obvious: Sandra Bullock, Jada Pinkett Smith, Halle Berry, Julia Roberts, Selma Hayek and Meg Ryan (pre plastic surgery)


10. Michelle Obama



Are you really that surprised she is on there? She is classy, smart, and has nice arms. I am glad she shows them off. The hottest first lady since Jackie-O.

9. Molly Ringwald



I fell in love with her in one of my all time favorite movies, The Breakfast Club. I named my high school tennis racquet after that character. And she still kinda as it goin for her. Way to go Claire.

8. Dianne Lane



Dianne is the oldest on the list coming in at 50 years old. I know I was going to keep this in the 40s but I threw her in there because, she is still pretty hot at 50. I first fell in love with her when she played Cherry Valance in The Outsiders. But she has kept it going on.

7. Julianne Moore



She never ceases to amaze me. Amazing actress, nominated for 4 oscars, in great movies, and always seems to be getting down in them. Her guest appearances on 30 Rock sealed her fate on this list.

6. Sheryl Crow



I love this folk rock star turned pop rock star turned country rock star.

5. Naomi Watts



Duh, look at that picture. And she is 41 and at one point dated Heath Ledger so you know she must be legit

4. Nicole Kidman



Nicole was once upon a time #2 on my real list of hottest celebrities. But that was back in 2003. She still has it though. She is the kind of classic klassy hottie.

3. Tina Fey



I love this liberal comedic genius. She is the new Lucille Ball but with edge. And hot. She made glasses hot.

2. Tea Leoni



I fell in love with her when she had this little known show and even less watched show called The Naked Truth. It was hilarious. You probably know her from Family Man or Spanglish. In all three things she was HOT. and hilarious. I love the show Fun With Dick and Jane.

1. Betty White



C'mon look at that Golden Girl and tell me you would not wanna get Fro-Yo'd with that. And by Fro-Yo I actually mean frozen yogurt this time. I don't know why I think sexually suggestive jokes about Betty White are overly hilarious but I do.










1. Mary Louis Parker



Ok the real number one goes to hotty Mary Louise Parker, of Weeds. I love her. I want to quit my life and go on the run with her. She has made this show into something I can't get enough of and did I mention she was hot? Because she is.



Well I wasted enough time doing this when I should have been studying. Oops...........I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.

Life

Ah life is a little different for me now. I am in Arizona now. Living in Gilbert with three other dudes. I haven't had roomates for over a year and am getting used to it slowly but steadily. Luckily for me all three have proven to be cool guys. I have played tennis, gone to the movies and to a party with them. All in all I can't complain. Well I can, but only about the heat. 110 is a little hotter than I thought it would be.....116 is hotter than it should ever be anywhere....except in hell, it can be 116 there. But what makes it bearable is knowing that in January where it is snowing and cold and freezing in most places in the country I will be enjoying sunny and 75.
Also, I wasn't going to publicly share my weight loss goals but I am kind of proud of myself and thought I would share. Since my birthday in March I have lost .......drumroll....... 22 pounds. I was really terrified to jump back on the scale when I moved down here. When I moved to my parents house for the month of July I stopped weighing myself. And I also stopped running 10 miles a week. And I was taken out to eat so much that I really was so afraid to step back on the scale. Luckily for me I still managed to drop three pounds. How- I don't know. Now I am back on a pretty good diet and since being here have dropped another 2 pounds. So if I can finally get myself back on a solid exercise routine combined with this diet the next 30 pounds should hopefully be off before Christmas break. That is my goal. That would put me about ten pounds less than I was when I came home from my mission. I came home in really good shape. And I maintained that for like three months. Then slowly by slowly the pounds came creeping on. Then after a year and a half they came on a little faster until it kind of put me into a slight state of depression I was depressed that I let myself get this way and depressed that I was lacking the motivation to do anything about it. Then I sprained my ankle and then a few months later did it again. Each brought on bad eating and no exercise. Then came the holidays and finals and blah blah blah a lot of other excuses. Then my birthday hit and I began to analyze my life and what was making me a little blue. The largest answer was my weight. I didn't want to date because I didn't feel good about the way I looked. I felt like I had to compensate for the unattractive state I was in by being funny. Yeah I made myself the fat funny friend. Which in case you have never been this person is a depressing state to be in. Because when you don't feel in the mood to be funny you feel like you have let down the one thing that makes you valuable to a friendship or a group of people. I became kind of disconnected to a lot of people because I didn't know what else to do. Also people treat you much differently when you have extra lbs than when you don't. I have noticed it first hand. People care more about what you have to say, about you in general when you weigh less, and take you more seriously. Friends who are fit and good looking start making you plan B. It is sad. If I have ever done this to anyone I want to apologize now because it is one of the worst feelings in the world to watch people who you care about and who you know at one poing really cared about you treat you differently because of the way that you look.

So to make a long story short, I am tired of feeling blah and not good enough. So I began hitting the gym really hard and dieting. I have had a few setbacks of weight fluxuation but I am finally to a point where I don't feel like I can go back to where I was four months ago. So the next 30 lbs will put me just at the ideal weight for where I think I need to be. Just got to get my fitness and diet to work together.

As a side note, next post will be a top ten milf post. I am very excited. I hope you are too. Thanks for listening.

Things I have learned this week

- I somehow have a way of disappointing a lot of people without ever meaning to. Like I can literally make people really upset with me and not know it until boom it is blowing up in my face. Your thoughts?

- That my nephew and niece love me as much as I love them. I just said goodbye to them because they are going back to their dads for the weekend and today was the last day I would see them before I moved. I spent most of the day with them at the water park swimming and going on water slides with them. It was a blast. Then they came over to eat bbq at my parents house. I played Wii with my nephew as my niece told me stories about her boyfriends Finn and Puck (yes the ones on Glee). Then it was time to say goodbye. My niece turned four not too long ago and is only kind of comprehending what me leaving means. But my nephew is 6 and we have always been really really close and he got it. He came to give me a hug and didn't let go. The hug lasted like two minutes and he had tears in his eyes when he was done giving me the hug. Which of course made me start to tear up a bit. Which made him give me another hugg because he thought I was sad. Then my sis in law text me later and told me that when her and my bro got home my nephew was really quiet and when they tucked him in she asked him if he was okay and he started bawling and then my niece came in and she started bawling and then my sis in law started bawling because I was leaving. She never said if my brother was bawling but I am just going to assume he was as well. Man am I going to miss them and am so glad that google is as amazing as it is and has a video chat so I can still watch my nephew and niece grow up.

Now I know that everyone always claims that they have the cutest nephews and nieces but c'mon look at this picture and try to argue with me on this one.

- Also I learned that my serve in volleyball is back and almost better than ever. Just need a little more power in it so it hurts to hit back and then it will be there. Hopefully my new singles ward has a weekly volleyball night happening because I am going to miss playing volleyball with my friends every wednesday here in F-Town. That means Farr West you sickos.

Gavin Degraw -Recreating Chill Music

Of the many types of music I listen to chill music is one of the most constant. I like music that makes you feel something, and real chill music does just that. One of my favorite chill artists is Gavin Degraw. I love the songs Belief, We Belong Together, and probably my fave More Than Anyone, the stripped versions of the songs, the other poppy versions don't do it justice. I also love old motown songs. Smokey Robinson is king, if I could sing like anyone, he would be one of those that are at the top of my list, also Sam Cooke. My favorite Smokey song is Tracks of My Tears and one of my fave Sam Cooke songs is Cupid. I can't sleep and am playing on youtube and discovered this little gem where Gavin Degraw mashes both songs together in the best chill mashup I have heard in a long time. Enjoy

Tonight I Wanna Cry

So I learned today that two people that I love and look up to and helped make my mission what it was passed away. Hattie Smith and my Grandma Rosie, Rosie Shelton.

Hattie Smith


Those of you who know Hattie knew there was something special from the get go. She was a horrible smoker for years. Started meeting with the sister missionaries and tried to quit so she could get baptized for a year with no success. Then she had a stroke.......and then she had another. And then she gave up smoking and considered the two strokes a blessing because it finally allowed her the opportunity to get baptized. Such a strong example of making the best out of a bad situation and recognizing blessings in the most obscure ways. I served in her ward for a year and went back to visit since coming home. Two weeks before I went home I was able to go with her to the temple for the first time, which for mormons is a huge deal. Everytime we left her house we had to sing I am a Child of God. The strokes left her with limited speach and in a wheelchair and when she sang along you really knew that she was just that, a child of God. Her smoking caught up with her and lung cancer hit and combine that with another stroke and Hattie returned to her Heavenly Father two months ago. I wish I would have known sooner so I could have tried to be there for her funeral.

Rosie Shelton



The next one really hit me hard. Rosie Shelton is one of the greatest people I will ever know. She took me in my first night in the ghettos of Chicago and reassured me of what I was doing and that I would be safe. My first 7 months of my mission I was in the cornfields of Indiana and then the ruralish suburban city of Oswego IL. Then I was transfered to the southside of Chicago. I was amazed at the poverty, the dirtiness, and empty feeling I felt as I made the drive from the mission home to the southside. I was scared. I suddenly became very aware how white, how privileged, and how niave I was. Luckily I had a companion, Shane Hall, who will always be a brother to me, show me the ropes and on that first night he took me to Rosie. I walked into her small apartment in a senior citizen high rise tired, scared, and beat spiritually, mentally, and physically. Shane was still a fairly new missionary and I wanted to give the spiritual messeage to show him A that I was a good missionary and someone he could learn from and B that he could trust me to deliver. Rosie was personable from the very beginning and contained the perfect blend of sass, love, and hilarity. After my spiritual thought she gave me a hug and told me that we were going to get very close while I was serving in her area. Little did she know that I was going to be there for 7 and a half months and she would be seeing my face at least once a week for that. We had a special connection from day one and when I call her Grandma Rosie I mean it. I viewed and loved her like she was my actual grandma and I know she felt the same for me. Her sass toughened me up, her love gave me the sense of family I missed, and her hilarity kept me going when I wanted to give up. Her cooking was out of this world and I will never have cornbread that will compare to hers and I will be having some corned beef and cabbage in her honor. There is so much more that I want to and can say about this woman, but just know she has left permanent footprints on my heart and her death has broke my four year absense of crying. She had MS and after I left dimentia began to set in and she forgot almost everyone. But in my dreams I would have long conversations with her that felt so real. I have missed her ever since I left Chicago and will miss her everday until I get to see her again. Grandma Rosie I love and miss you.

Real/Funny Parody Videos

The Harvard Sailing Team comedy group is seriously the best thing to happen to me in a long time. Ok that was a little dramatic but seriously I could watch these videos a million times and never get sick of them. Here are my four favorite. The first three are parodies with a lot of overexaggerated life truths about the difference between men and women. And the last is a joke on people getting together who do not know how to play poker. Please watch, enjoy, and let me know what you think.









You're Welcome. Now when I say totes or where are you from- a stupid rock? you will know why.