Tonight I Wanna Cry

So I learned today that two people that I love and look up to and helped make my mission what it was passed away. Hattie Smith and my Grandma Rosie, Rosie Shelton.

Hattie Smith


Those of you who know Hattie knew there was something special from the get go. She was a horrible smoker for years. Started meeting with the sister missionaries and tried to quit so she could get baptized for a year with no success. Then she had a stroke.......and then she had another. And then she gave up smoking and considered the two strokes a blessing because it finally allowed her the opportunity to get baptized. Such a strong example of making the best out of a bad situation and recognizing blessings in the most obscure ways. I served in her ward for a year and went back to visit since coming home. Two weeks before I went home I was able to go with her to the temple for the first time, which for mormons is a huge deal. Everytime we left her house we had to sing I am a Child of God. The strokes left her with limited speach and in a wheelchair and when she sang along you really knew that she was just that, a child of God. Her smoking caught up with her and lung cancer hit and combine that with another stroke and Hattie returned to her Heavenly Father two months ago. I wish I would have known sooner so I could have tried to be there for her funeral.

Rosie Shelton



The next one really hit me hard. Rosie Shelton is one of the greatest people I will ever know. She took me in my first night in the ghettos of Chicago and reassured me of what I was doing and that I would be safe. My first 7 months of my mission I was in the cornfields of Indiana and then the ruralish suburban city of Oswego IL. Then I was transfered to the southside of Chicago. I was amazed at the poverty, the dirtiness, and empty feeling I felt as I made the drive from the mission home to the southside. I was scared. I suddenly became very aware how white, how privileged, and how niave I was. Luckily I had a companion, Shane Hall, who will always be a brother to me, show me the ropes and on that first night he took me to Rosie. I walked into her small apartment in a senior citizen high rise tired, scared, and beat spiritually, mentally, and physically. Shane was still a fairly new missionary and I wanted to give the spiritual messeage to show him A that I was a good missionary and someone he could learn from and B that he could trust me to deliver. Rosie was personable from the very beginning and contained the perfect blend of sass, love, and hilarity. After my spiritual thought she gave me a hug and told me that we were going to get very close while I was serving in her area. Little did she know that I was going to be there for 7 and a half months and she would be seeing my face at least once a week for that. We had a special connection from day one and when I call her Grandma Rosie I mean it. I viewed and loved her like she was my actual grandma and I know she felt the same for me. Her sass toughened me up, her love gave me the sense of family I missed, and her hilarity kept me going when I wanted to give up. Her cooking was out of this world and I will never have cornbread that will compare to hers and I will be having some corned beef and cabbage in her honor. There is so much more that I want to and can say about this woman, but just know she has left permanent footprints on my heart and her death has broke my four year absense of crying. She had MS and after I left dimentia began to set in and she forgot almost everyone. But in my dreams I would have long conversations with her that felt so real. I have missed her ever since I left Chicago and will miss her everday until I get to see her again. Grandma Rosie I love and miss you.